Relationship Breaks: Are They Beneficial? Master the Do’s and Don’ts

Are you considering taking a break from your relationship because things have gotten difficult? Maybe you’re having the same fights over and over again with no resolution, or you’re just tired and looking for space to reflect. Taking a break from your relationship can help but only if you do it the right way. Without a plan, a break might actually cause more damage to your relationship. Here is how to take a healthy break that could improve your relationship instead of damaging it further.

The Positive Aspects of Taking a Break

1. Self-Reflection: A break can serve as a quiet time, allowing  you to contemplate your feelings, goals, and aspirations within the relationship.
2. Relief From Tensions: If disagreements have become frequent, a break might provide some necessary relief and perspective, as well as prevent the relationship from getting worse.
3. Personal Growth: Time apart can offer unique personal development opportunities to benefit the relationship.
4. Valuing The Connection: It allows you to appreciate your partner more by giving space to miss them and value aspects of the relationship that you may have overlooked or not appreciated.

The Potential Challenges of a Break

1. Uncertainty: Without clear communication, breaks can lead to doubts, insecurities, misunderstandings and, of course, more resentment. When you come back to re-patch things, there is more work that needs to be done.
2. Emotional Stress: Being away from a loved one can intensify certain feelings, including loneliness and abandonment, or create new anxieties.
3. Risk of Drifting Apart: A temporary break might unintentionally become a permanent distance without a plan. This is especially true if partners use this break to explore new romantic connections outside the relationship.

Signs That a Break Might be Beneficial

1. Frequent Arguments: If disagreements have become the norm rather than the exception, a pause might help.
2. Feeling Overwhelmed: If interactions with your partner consistently drain rather than energize you.
3. Desire for Space: When the thought of some time apart feels more comforting than constricting.

Effective Ways to Take a Relationship Break

1. Open Dialogue: Before anything, discuss the reason for the break, ensuring both partners are on the same page.
2. Set a Duration: Clearly define the length of the break, whether it’s days, weeks, or months. In general, the longer the time, the more risks it poses to the longevity and health of your relationship.
3. Stay in Touch: While the idea is to have space, occasional check-ins can maintain the connection and reduce anxieties.
4. Engage in Reflection: Take advantage of this time to reflect on your emotions and what you want from a relationship. Whether you choose to do this independently or with the help of a therapist, make sure you are not just passively taking this time. Relationship therapy can help you gain a better understanding of your feelings and relationship desires.
5. Be Faithful And Honest: During the break, refrain from pursuing other romantic interests as it complicates decision-making.

Signs that a relationship break is not the right decision

1. When Communication Has Flatlined: If you and your partner can’t have a conversation without it turning into World War III or worse. In that case, if there’s just dead silence, a break might not magically fix this communication breakdown. It’s like leaving a broken car in the garage and hoping it sets itself. Sometimes, you need a relationship therapist to look under the hood. That’s where couples therapy can help.

2. Trust Is Broken: Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Suppose there’s been a breach of trust, such as infidelity or consistent lying. In that case, a break may be a delayed reaction to the inevitable collapse. Rebuilding trust takes active work and commitment from both parties, something that’s hard to do when you’re apart.

3. Eyeing Other Options: Let’s be honest—if a break is appealing because you’ve got a ‘Plan B’ person in mind, or you’re curious to see if the grass is greener elsewhere, it’s not a break; it’s a trial breakup. A genuine break is about self-growth and reflection, not test-driving other relationships. If this rings true, it might be time to have an honest conversation with your partner about where your heart truly lies.

4. Using a Break as a Stepping Stone to a Breakup :For some, suggesting a break is the softer approach to what they want—a complete stop. It’s like wanting to jump into the pool but instead just dipping your toes in. If, deep down, you feel the relationship isn’t right. Still, you’re afraid of the confrontation or the finality of a breakup; you’re not doing yourself or your partner any favours by suggesting a break. It’s more respectful to both parties to be upfront about your feelings.

Conclusion

Deciding to take a break in a relationship is a complex choice that varies from couple to couple. Although it can lead to greater clarity and personal growth, it can also be complicated and potentially harmful to the relationship’s overall health. To ensure that this decision is beneficial, it is crucial to have proper communication, set clear boundaries, and seek guidance from a therapist. Regardless of which path is chosen, it is essential to prioritize both personal well-being and the relationship’s health.

Relationship Counselling In Ontario

Dealing with relationship problems can be a challenging experience, and seeking help from the comfort of your Ontario home can make a significant difference. At Parisa Counselling, we are well-versed in the dynamics of relationships and offer virtual relationship therapy in Ontario to provide you with the support you need. We can help you determine if a relationship break is necessary and guide you through the process with empathy and expertise. We are committed to helping you on your relationship journey. Contact us today to learn more or book your virtual therapy session online.